I know it’s all part of the toddler territory & I need to put on my big girl pants & deal with it, but I would be lying if I didn’t admit that my patience had been tested to the max. I had a moment, questioned our discipline strategies (& why I publicly said how well they were working, doesn’t that always come back to haunt you?!). I totally felt like I had failed as a mom, but I have since moved on. It’s really hard not to, it’s the same toddler tornado who causes the stress that always does something within minutes of it that makes your heart stop you love them so much.
Yesterday, Waverly was playing on the porch all on her own (she had closed the screen door & said “mama, inside”, “gogger, outside”). I put a few dishes away & looked back outside to Waverly sitting literally on top of Bogger, like he was a pony. They sat there for a few minutes as I just watched from behind, I wish I could have caught a picture but I didn’t want to disturb their sweet, peaceful moment. Waverly spent the rest of the afternoon in her house, eating her snack & then, sharing the rest with “gogger”. The cutest.
So, mom guilt. I clearly believe in it & experience it more times than I want to. I am convinced that it is built into one of the pregnancy hormones & then stays with you pretty much forever. I have a feeling I will still get mom guilt even when my kids are grown & well out of the house.
I was one of those pregnant girls who was really careful, like over-careful, when it came to what I ate or what I did for that 10 months. I remember being well into my third trimester & craving a bath so badly, I had read somewhere that I would “cook” the baby so I hadn’t taken one since we found out we were expecting. Yet I couldn’t stop thinking about it (pregnancy craving?), so I made the water ice cold & froze myself to death just to take one. Then I don’t think I slept for a few days since I couldn’t stop thinking that my baby girl was cooked inside my belly. Mom guilt.
These days, Waverly is obviously my number one priority. Not a moment goes by that I’m not thinking about what is best for her & how I can make it happen. I know my husband feels the same way, but even he would tell you that he doesn’t get the same “guilt” we do. It’s totally not fair, right?! 😉
There really isn’t much better.