There were MANY moments of frustration when I didn’t think we would ever make it through. Just like they say, when you think you have it all figured out, things change. They did, ALL of the time! There were nights that I thought she wasn’t eating enough to find out, I was overfeeding her. After returning to work, my supply went down & I was convinced we wouldn’t even make it to half of my goal of an entire year. We pretty much went day to day on my supply for the entire time I was back to work, and it was something I was always thinking & worrying about.
I went back & forth about doing a breastfeeding post. Something about anything with “breast” in the title was a little too much for me. Then I remembered how I lost all sense of modesty during my entire pregnancy, labor, and the breastfeeding process itself. That realization, & the fact that I hope this can be helpful to another momma or mom-to-be sealed the deal for me. And of course, it will be a helpful reference for future Brickner babies … someday. 🙂
I am a total Type- A, over-planner kind of person. Waverly’s nursery was complete months in advance of her July birthday, our bags were packed & hanging in the hallway for weeks in advance, & I drove around with an empty car seat for well over a month. We took an 8-week birth class & read endless books & blogs to the point that I pretty much have a medical degree in child birth. In fact, I may just forgo the whole hospital thing with my next child and do it all on my own.
What I didn’t prepare for, mentally or physically, was breastfeeding. I had every intention of feeding my girl exclusively. Yet for whatever reason, I never thought it would be an isssue. I just figured that that she would come out, latch right on, and we would never turn back. I was SO wrong.
Despite lots of help from lactation consultants, it took a couple of days for either one of us to even come close to figuring this whole breastfeeding thing out. The “holds” were foreign to me, the parts to that weird-looking pump were anything but easy to identify, and to put it mildly, I was in pain. Like even more than child birth pain. Pair that with the fact that I had no idea how long this whole thing took (or about engorgement!) … and there was more than one moment that I almost completely gave up.
You know, in a mad dash to the grocery store for a bottle for formula for Waverly & a bottle of wine for me.
Long story short, the good news is that we made it through. I am so proud that Waverly Maye never drank formula & exclusively had my milk until she was 11 months old. Our breastfeeding dates went from moments I dreaded to time that I really cherished with her. There really is nothing more of a bonding experience or feeling of accomplishment than being your child’s one & only source of nourishment.
With that being said … I am fully aware that for some moms & babes, it just doesn’t work out. That may even be the case for me & a future Brickner baby. But I couldn’t be happier that this time, for me & my Waverly, it did! It’s something we will always have & I really do cherish it, and love this little girl beyond words.
On a side note, as happy as I am that our experience was a positive one, I was almost as happy to pack that god-awful pump FAR away. Really far. That is one piece of baby gear I can certainly do without.
PS – Back to Trendy Tot Tuesday next week! Since this little lady is FOURTEEN MONTHS this week, I wanted to document my story before I forgot about it. 🙂