I have been really hesitant to write this post. Partly because I had some struggles with it, partly because I just haven’t had the time to really sit down and think it through, and partly because I just really wasn’t sure how much I wanted to share. But it just didn’t feel right not being 100% honest about all of my life. This blog is about our family and my journey through motherhood, the wonderful, crazy roller coaster that all of that is, and this is just another stage of it.
If you have been following us for a while, you know that I was a fashion marketing teacher at a high school for eleven years. After having Avalon I went part-time, and then at the beginning of 2016, I resigned completely to accept a position as a part-time bridal stylist and pursue my own wedding planning business. So starting last January, I would work about three days a week at the bridal salon, usually afternoons/evenings, and pretty much every single weekend. The other days I stayed home with my girls, while somehow trying to figure out how to be a business owner for the first time in my life. To market & promote myself, to keep myself organized with the clients I already had, and to attend meetings to coordinate the weddings I was planning. Plus of course, the weddings. I also was trying to continue to manage this blog, which has always been such a great outlet for me. A place that I feel so grateful to have for my kids to look back on one day, where I have made so many great relationships with inspiring ladies and fellow mamas, and also, a place that has turned into a side-business for me (which we really needed when I was no longer working full-time).
I am sure there are tons of people out there that manage all of this (and more), but it didn’t take long before everything started piling up & I was left feeling pretty overwhelmed. Above anything else, the biggest reason that I decided to make the change was to give me more time with my girls and even though I was physically there with them more than before, there is no doubt that I was getting way less quality time with them than I ever had. I was stressed, I was trying to fit the biggest to-do list ever into an hour naptime, and when that didn’t happen, I felt anxious the rest of the day while I was trying to accomplish things when they were awake. They needed me, all of me, and though I did everything I could to make it work, most days I was stressed and overworked, and trying to manage way more than I could handle.
Ultimately, I found that all of the things I thought
I would love about this new schedule were exactly the things that I found the most challenging. And with that, the things that I thought I didn’t like about teaching were exactly the things that I so badly wanted back. I missed having a set Monday-Friday schedule. The benefit of always knowing when I was going to work (and that I would always have holidays and summers off!) was something I completely took for granted for so long. I also really hated working nights, I thought I would rather have the mornings with my girls, but after this experience, I would take getting work out of the way in the morning and then getting to spend each afternoon & night with them ten times over that any day. I always thought I would love working from home, especially after I became a mom. I don’t know that my personality lends itself to not working at all (though we could probably make it work without my income, we definitely wouldn’t be able to give our kids what we want to, to be able to have the freedom to accomplish all we want to, or to grow our family), so before all of this, I truly felt like a job from home was the best of both worlds. That was definitely not the case for us. I now have the UPMOST respect for moms who run a business while taking care of their kids, to put it simply, my high-maintenance little divas (love them so much!) need my full attention and I want to give it to them. We all did better when I could just be with them I was home and then get my work done at a job outside of the house. And lastly, working weekends was really hard on me and even harder on the four of us. Spending time as a family is what we value most, and with my husband gone all week at work and then me gone on the weekends, our times together were few and far between.
SO! Very long story short, after getting down on myself for a couple months for messing up a really good thing that we had, I decided one day out of nowhere to look into going back into teaching, but in a different field. While I loved teaching fashion when I was younger, as time progressed, I really felt like I needed a change, something that would give me a new challenge and motivation but that would still leave me in education, because I really did love it. I took a class to get certified to teach something different (while still working at the bridal salon, planning weddings, and blogging to make money!), and somehow, all the stars aligned and I got hired at an elementary school eight minutes from my house teaching early childhood education, PRESCHOOL! Which was crazy, since that’s exactly what I hoped for when I decided to take the class this summer.
I officially started at the beginning of this month, the same day Waverly went back to school, and still can’t believe I went from teaching high school juniors and seniors to little ones who are the same age as my own kids (!!!). It’s been absolutely crazy and definitely a huge adjustment to learn everything new again, but it’s also been so wonderful. I have always believed that everything happens for a reason, and though it was a crazy road to get here, I really wouldn’t change it. After having Waverly, there were so many times that it was painful leaving her, and especially after having Avalon, I thought how much better life would be if I could just work from home, or have some sort of different situation. Well, the grass is not always greener on the other side. More than any other experience in my life, this taught me to not dwell on the things that you think could be better, but to truly be thankful for what you have. I have always felt like I am a “glass half full” kind of person, and even on the most challenging days this past year I found so much positive, but the past few weeks have just been some of the absolute best we have ever had. Even though I obviously still miss them when I’m at school, I have finally been able to have hours upon hours of uninterrupted, stress-free moments with my girls every afternoon, and to appreciate it more than ever before. We have had our weekends back as a family, including my husband, who is always 150% supportive of everything I do and right by my side. I really love my new position, the people I work with, and of course, the sweet little babes that are now in my class. I have no doubt that this is exactly where I was supposed to be all along (and I can assure you, there will be no more job updates from me, this is it!). 😉
I will always be supportive of ALL my fellow mamas, whether you have a full-time or part-time job outside the house, are running a business at home, running a household staying at home with your little ones, or at a crossroads trying to figure it all out. Every situation is different. We all have our challenges and triumphs, we are all just trying to make the best life for our babes, the best way we know how. I’m forever thankful for mine. I just couldn’t love them one bit more, they are the light of our crazy life!
PS – Obviously I am no longer working at the bridal salon, but I am still planning weddings & styling, just on a much smaller scale!!! My goal is to take just take one every couple months or so, I will try to share some pictures when I do. 🙂
PPS – These images are from a session we did with my friend Shawna Bielat recently, can’t wait to share the rest! Happy, happy Tuesday friends! XO