Being Brickner : A Mama Moment

Monday, May 2, 2016

A Mama Moment

I think most of my fellow mama friends would agree, it's always more fun to talk about the good parts of motherhood.  The days where you rock it, your kids are patient, sweet, and smiling, well-fed, clean, looking adorable & even color-coordinated.  The floors are swept and the sink is free of dishes, and crazy enough, the laundry is clean and put away in its correct places.

We have a lot of those, and they are wonderful.  Absolutely 100% wonderful.  And most of the time, we have a lot more of that than the hard stuff.  I've said it before, our transition to two has actually been fairly easy, definitely way easier than we ever thought it would be, and there's not a day that goes by that I don't look at both my daughter's faces & think that my heart literally may burst.

But sometimes I think it's okay (and important) to talk about the difficult parts, too.  The moments that you feel exhausted, overwhelmed, and overworked.  We all have them, and we all deserve to, without feeling bad about it.  And the entire reason I write that is to remind myself of exactly that.

I had a few difficult days in a row a couple weeks ago, pretty much a string of hard moments that usually aren't that big of a deal but for whatever reason, they were.  Waverly was being "three", Avalon was being mobile & shutting her fingers in drawer after drawer, the house was a mess, and I felt like I couldn't keep up with anything, work or home related.  I found myself counting down the minutes until nap or bedtime and then, feeling the biggest case of mom guilt ever for it.  Which of course made everything worse, until finally, I unraveled.  I officially lost my patience, raised my voice more then I should have with Waverly, sat Avalon in her crib and just walked away to give myself a little time-out of my own.

As horrible as it felt to hit such a low, I look back now & am so glad I did.  Sometimes it takes moments like that to build yourself back up, and while you are at it, to give yourself some grace.  I think as moms that we all put way too much pressure on ourselves (I'm at the front of the line), and that at the end of the day, we need to remind ourselves that there is no reason to be ashamed or feel bad for feeling tired or overwhelmed.  We are human, and most importantly, we are not alone.  For every moment that you feel that way, there's another mama somewhere feeling exactly the same way, we are all in this together and we will all push through together! :)

I'm reminded all of the time of how incredibly resilient children are.  I felt so bad for losing my patience with my girls & was positive that they would remember it forever.  Of course, Waverly came running in within minutes wanting me to play tea party and dolls with her, telling me how much she loved me & saying "mommy, I missded you".  Avalon was coming in for kisses, her new favorite party trick that seriously melts me every time.  I'm not always perfect, but to them, I am.  And there is no better feeling than that.

My Shoes - Bag C/O Seaport Stitches
Wishing all of the moms out there the happiest Mother's Day week!  You are strong, beautiful rock stars - and I promise you, your little ones are positive that you hung the moon.  Even on the days that you definitely don't feel that way about yourself.  Lots of love & hugs from me to you! XO

16 comments:

  1. Great reminder that we are all in the same boat and all have those moments/days! I'm really good at going from 0 to pissed off in no time. It is a good thing that those kids forgive and forget better than anybody.

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  2. Such a sweet and true reminder. Thank goodness God gives us grace. Loved this!

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  3. This is such a great reminder. We all have those days. I'm not sure if you saw this article floating around FB, but I thought I'd share. Grab the Kleenex. https://austin.citymomsblog.com/2016/04/20/stage-life-hard/

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  4. You're an awesome mama! XOXO I agree that it's incredibly important to share those not so awesome mom moments. We all have them and I do believe it can help us connect!

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  5. Oh yeah girl. Definitely right there with you!

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  6. I always feel so bad when I have a bad Mommy day and raise my voice or behave ugly. I try to remind myself that I'm human and not perfect and that I can always have a better day. Additionally, it helps that C is just 3.5 and easily forgives me for being so crabby.

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  7. Oh man, those hard days sure are hard. It's like once things unravel a little they totally snowball. I'm glad you shared and used your tough days to find positivity! Us mamas need to stick together, it's a tough business we're in! :)

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  8. Perfectly put! I think some days we need to struggle to fully appreciate the great days! XO

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  9. This is beautiful, Ashley! Those bad days just seem all grouped together, dont they?! But they really are necessary, I love your outlook :)

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  10. Yes. To all of this.
    It's such a good reminder to remember that we're mommas, but we're human. This parenting thing is a tough, but oh-so rewarding gig!

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  11. Can totally relate! I've definitely raised my voice and put Noah in the crib so I could have my own timeout. I've also had that mommy guilt and felt the love of a child who quickly forgives! Finding a mommy tribe who you can talk to and share the good and the bad is so important!!!

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  12. I love this post and can relate. These days are so hard and long but the good moments far out weight the rough ones!

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  13. i can totally relate! i find myself getting so short with Palmer sometimes, then have HUGE mom guilt after!!! I think most moms can relate to these moments...we all have them!

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  14. Amen friend, amen! The good stuff is just easier to talk about. I love this post friend. As a mama, I can totally relate. I’ve been dealing with a ton of mom guilt lately. We have a little friend over every day after school and he and Mason are wit’s end with each other. I have been having to get on to Mason more than normal lately and it’s killing me. So, I needed this post today and this amazing reminder. Thank you for that sweet lady!

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  15. I love this! I just joined the mama club a few months ago, but I agree!

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  16. Oh girl I ADORE you for this post today. This was me...today! I even cried after I raised my voice to Andi bc she teared up and I'll never forget it. I turned around and let it out and it was horrible. I scooped that baby up so quickly it wasn't even funny. But yes, we def all have those days. Cheers to you pretty mama! Hope tomorrow is perfect! xoxo

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