Being Brickner : Thoughts on One To Two

Thursday, September 24, 2015

Thoughts on One To Two

I will never forget, I was about 8 & a half months pregnant on one of the first warm days early last spring when we were at the park and I was pushing Waverly in the swing.  The guy next to me asked when I was due, he told me that his daughter (their second child) was almost a year old.  I asked him how having two was & he just looked at me, with the widest eyes ever, and said "game-changer".  About fifteen minutes later, Waverly was going down the slide and a mom walked up pushing a double stroller, she asked me the same thing.  Her girls ended up being just about the same age difference that Waverly & Avalon are. She told me that the transition from one to two was the biggest shock of their lives, but not to worry, their youngest was about eight months and they were finally able to live life close to normal again.  Thanks.  I remember walking home with my huge belly, scared out of my mind, I pulled out my phone to text my husband to let him know that we were screwed.

Fast forward about five months to now, we are the parents to two healthy, happy girls, and I have to say, it's been way better than expected.  Maybe it's because I prepared myself for the absolute worst, or because the adjustment to being parents for the first time was such a shock in itself that this just doesn't compare.  Either way, while we definitely we our moments & life is certainly not seamless, we are pleasantly surprised.  I've mentioned some of this before but thought it deserved a post all of it's own, I hope it can be helpful to someone and if nothing else, I know I will love to back on it one day (probably laughing that I thought this was the crazy season of our lives!).

So the hard parts.  For us, the pure logistics of going from one to two has probably been the biggest adjustment, especially lately as Avalon is getting older and not sleeping all day long.  I have really been trying to get her napping at home, in her crib rather than in a car seat on & off, on the go, and that means attempting to get both girls napping at least close to the same time so if we have to go out (which seems to be the best for sanity!), we can do it when they are both awake.  The other day I had one goal, to go to Target (maybe I always have that goal?), and it literally took all day long to get us out the door.  By the time we were up, fed and dressed, Avalon was ready for her first nap, then after she was up & fed, Waverly was tired, and naturally, Avalon went down again right about the same time that Waverly got up.  We finally made it to Target at five PM (but we made it!).

Other challenges have been a lot of the obvious, double you know, everything.  And it always seems to be the case that as soon as I sit down down to feed Avalon, Waverly is screaming that she is sitting on the potty, just pooped, and desperately needs help.  There are so many moments that I wish for more than two arms, or maybe even better, that it was socially acceptable to drink a couple glasses of wine at 12:30 on a Tuesday (though that really wouldn't matter, since I am breastfeeding & couldn't really do that anyways!). ;)

Yet the good.  SO much good.  We really are much more confident as parents now, there is no doubt about it, & I'm sure that's a lot of where Avalon's laid-back demeanor comes from.  We have been fortunate that she is a good sleeper and just a good baby in general, but even when she does cry or have a night where she gets up more than usual, it just doesn't seem to be as big of a deal as last time.  We know that she won't hate the car seat forever, that the breast pump won't always have to be with me at all times, and that at one point,  we will be able to sleep through the entire night again.  We know that these challenges are short-lived, that they will be replaced with others, but most importantly, that every single one is worth it.  I know other moms can relate, since the time I first started showing in my first pregnancy & almost every time I go out with both girls now, the first thing I hear (almost every day!), is how fast this time goes.  You really don't realize it until your go through it yourself, but that really is the case.  This time, it's so much easier to just let go of the little things that we know will work themselves out, what really matters is soaking in these precious moments with our girls, I still can't believe how lucky we are to have TWO of them! :)  Double the hugs, kisses, and of course, double the love.  There is truly nothing better.

And what is a post without pictures?!  The first one makes me laugh so much, it shows the girls personalities perfectly, Waverly the threenager watching videos & talking to her "guys" on the phone, and Avalon just sitting in her bumbo smiling at the world, just so happy to be along for the ride.


I would love to hear your own thoughts or experiences, or of course, if you have more than two & are laughing at me for thinking that we have it busy our way. ;)

And happy, happy Thursday! Hope you are having a wonderful week!  XO

23 comments:

  1. I've heard one to two is a huge change, but two to three is a major game changer because the kids out number the parents, eeeeeeeek! Glad it hasn't been as crazy as you thought :)! Love your pictures as usual.

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  2. Thanks for the perspective. Our little guy is 11 months and as we hope to add to our family, I know mentally preparing is important. It looks like you guys have figured out a good routine and don't sweat the small stuff! Nice job :)

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  3. Two for us was really easy until the second became mobile, now that's been a game changer!! It's just hard to make sure two kids aren't getting into something bad if they're headed in two different directions! I have two busy boys though so it might be easier with girls ;)

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  4. I could definitely see there being some challenges going from one to two, but it seems like you guys are all adjusting well :)

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  5. I was up last night thinking about this! I was tired, couldn't sleep or get comfortable, and I just started thinking about how little sleep I'll get since O no longer naps either. Sigh!

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  6. So I'm firmly in the "game changer" camp. Both girls are SO GOOD. But I get zero alone time and the house isn't nearly as clean which probably stresses me out more than anything! I blame lex and her no nap ways ;)

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  7. Love the first picture! Waverly looks so old now!

    'Tis Our Life Blog

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  8. That you were ambushed by two people in the same day is not fair. I only had one person tell me going from one to two would be hard and I feel like that says more about that persons experince, not necessarily your own. Logistic, sigh. I like being early to appoinments and now with two Im always a little late. But I feel like you get a pass with the more kids you have lol (or thats what I tell myself ;)

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  9. Going from one to two is terrifying to me!! Haha but double the love makes it all worth it. Sisters - gah there really is nothing better!

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  10. I team "game changer" too...but my youngest is almost 9 months and we are starting to get used to it I think. I just feel like time goes by in warp speed and I get no down time whatsoever...always feeding one or the other, giving one or the other a bath, nap, cooking, cleaning, laundry, washing pump parts/bottles, something all the time! But the fun and the love hasn't just doubled, it multiplied a million times! :)

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  11. Oh man, this was great! It's been a pretty easy ride for us and the hardest being last month with all the traveling. But we're back to sleeping through the night and its heaven! So glad the girls are being easy on ya!!

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  12. When I was pregnant with Crew I got the same feedback from other parents. I can whole heartedly say with 100% confidence that for me going from no kids to 1 kid was WAY harder than going from 1 to 2. Having 2 has been seamless, we are WAY more relaxed, and know what we are doing. I feel incredibly lucky that we have been blessed with two amazing eaters and sleepers though (which probably makes a huge difference).

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  13. Oh goodness, I feel like everything about what you said applies to us. It is a challenge to maintain a sense of routine and consistency and have a life [i.e. go to Target]. I want Oliver to take good naps at home, in a bed, not out and about while in a carseat or something. But by the time he's napped, it's time for him to eat again, or for Emerson to eat or nap and by then the day is practically over. Even going to the park - Oliver falls asleep and then won't nap at home [which I don't want] but I want to go to the park. So what's one to do?! It's definitely different than having one. And it's a challenge some days [or all the days] to figure it all out. But one thing is certain - there are two little ones to love on instead of just one and that is the sweetest thing. And you're right, we will probably look back on this time in our lives later on and wonder at how we thought it was a crazy time. :)

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  14. So happy to hear it has been an easy adjustment for you! I haven't thought going to two was hard at all, although I am exhausted at the end of the day!

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  15. I totally agree. I found it harder because you are pulled in so many directions by each little one. When baby needs me big brother falls and hurts himself or needs a snack RIGHT NoW. Or vice versa. But Emmy is now 8 months old and I feel like we are really hitting our groove with getting back to our usual normal. It's amazing. I actually ate a meal out to dinner last night without having to hold her in my lap. It's been 8 months since that has happened. Awesome!!!

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  16. I agree that it's been easier, and I heard that going from two to three is nothing!! ;) I think that the age difference is perfect - Waverly and Cameron are independent enough that they can occupy themselves (on our phones or iPad) while we tend to the baby...I don't know how people do it when the oldest is just a year or two years old - they still need to much help and attention. At the same time, I am constantly finding myself trying to make time for Cam. He's SO GOOD at being patient that I take it for granted sometimes, so I definitely feel guilt. PS I love that first picture!!! What a happy baby and oh-so-mature threenager. ;)

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  17. So much sweetness and love in these pictures and in this post. Crazy what a difference #2 can make. Ill still waiting around to be ready for #1. :)

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  18. i can't believe people said that to you! very rude. pregnant need encouragement and high fives!
    i just had my third, and while i do agree that two is a game changer (reading some comments above, YES, the house isn't as clean, you never have alone time, etc.)
    BUT
    if you plan to have three, the game doesn't have to "change" again. your house is already messy, you're already tired, your kids are already used to sharing you. it's like with two kids you become a "family with multiple children" and that's a transition you never have to make again.

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  19. I think the biggest challenge for me getting to places on time. I've always been one to be early, no matter what or where we are going. But now? Holy smokes - is the diaper bag stocked with all the necessary items? Does Marcus have snacks? What about water? Is the Solly packed? Is the breast feeding cover packed? Did someone put the stroller in the car? And then just as I'm sitting down in the drivers seat I realize my keys are still inside.

    While two absolutely has it's challenges I'm so surprised at how well we've all kind of fallen into step.

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  20. I TOTALLY needed to read this! Obviously there is no going back, but I'm totally nervous about the transition to two! And of course I've been getting alllllll the comments now that I'm about to pop and it's making me nervous! I'm hoping to be more laid back and confident and able to just take it all in stride this time around. Hopefully the transition won't be nearly as traumatizing as I'm expecting it to be (or as people are warning me that it will be!)

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  21. I think I'm the only one commenting with only one, HA! But this is what I worry about. I'm not sure if we'll have another or not, for various reasons, but it always worried me that Mason has been SO easy, especially the pregnancy, and I always thought #2 would be the little terror or I'd be so sick. But almost EVERY since person with two says that #2 is so laid back and the best. I thought we were done but everyone and their SWEET little babies is giving me baby fever! lol

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  22. It definitely sounds like a huge adjustment but so totally worth it! You have such gorgeous little girls :)

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  23. My kids are 6, 3, and 16 months.
    Zero to one was a VERY hard one for me. I was shell shocked by it.
    One to two was pretty good. I guess bc the first was a tough one that I was so much more comfortable. The transition was far from what I had heard.
    Two to three...while actually not as hard initially as the first but it is definitely filed under "game changer". My 3rd child was the most laid back baby ever, a dream child. Then he hit a year old and while still laid back, he is all boy and on the run from sun up to sun down. Life is chaos (like completely haha) and I just have to embrace it.
    It is a crazy life but it is so amazing! I am hardly presentable most days but we all survive and go to bed happy!
    And I'm crazy enough to want 4...so it can't be that bad 😊

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