Being Brickner : One Year & Beyond: Taming the Temper Tantrums

Thursday, May 8, 2014

One Year & Beyond: Taming the Temper Tantrums

I am so excited to be a part of this series over the next couple of months, mainly so I can learn some new (magical) tips & tricks for handling my own toddler (tornado).  Even though I am almost two years into this whole "mom" thing, there are definitely days that I still feel like I don't know what the hell I am doing.  You know the ones, it hits 4pm & you can't stop thinking about bedtime or wondering how you all made it through the day alive.  Thankfully, those days are few & far between, and are most often followed by the sweetest days, ones that I wish could last forever so that I could just freeze time right at the age Waverly Maye is at right now.  She really is the best.
 

So, the temper tantrum.  I thought we hit this milestone about 6 months ago.  Yet now looking back I realize that those were just minor moments of frustration that don't come near to the full-blown (kicking of the feet & arching of the back) tantrums that Waverly is so talented at now.  They totally are just like the movies, or like the ones I saw kids do at the mall or grocery store a few years ago convinced that this would never, ever happen to me or my sweet future child. ;)

Honestly, I definitely feel like disclipline is the one area of parenting that challenges me most & that I will continue to struggle with.  Being affectionate, reading stories, having tea parties, making food out of holiday shapes ... those things I can handle.  Yet being the "strong" voice of authority is totally not me, I so wish I could just opt out of this part of parenting & leave it to the hubs.

With that being said, I definitely want to raise a daughter who is polite, sweet, & well-rounded, and I know that has to start now & with me.  What I have found works best for us is consistency.  More & more everyday I realize how smart Waverly really is, she knows exactly what she should do (& shouldn't) and loves to test us.  We have found that most of her tantrums are a result of frustration, so if we kneel down, tell her no while gently holding her face & giving her a few minutes ... it usually will calm her down & let our life return to its normal routine. :)
 
 
Of course it's not always that easy, some moments nothing will work & it's all I can do not to lay down & kick my feet in the air right next to her.  It's those times that still challenge me.  I've posted before that I had turned to time-out in her crib which was the biggest disaster ever, it turned out to be her favorite time of the day. ;)  I still want to try the time-out in a different place & am currently trying to come up with one.  We really have no hallway or place that would work to contain her, & there is no way (at all, ever) that my child is going to sit still in a chair or a corner for more than one second.  Do they make time-out chairs with straps?! ;)

My friend Meg recommended the book Positive Discipline: The First Three Years, I am really looking forward to finding the time to read it.  I am all about trying to raise Waverly in the most positive environment possible, I always try to find the best in situations & I want her to be the same way.  I have also found that as a working mom, the last thing I want to do when we get to reunite in the afternoons is to discipline or be negative (more like love on her as much as possible).  So I'm hoping to learn a lot from this book & also from all of you, as I do all of the time through the support of this blogging community!!

Waverly & I will be signing off for the next few days, we are off to celebrate my sister's college graduation & Mother's Day while we are there!  We are so excited for some quality family time, I can't wait for multiple days to do nothing but be with my favorites.
 

If you would like to link-up with us today or any of the Thursdays to come, you can click below or visit any of the participating mamas blogs (also listed below).  The topics for the next few weeks can be found in this post & The One Year & Beyond Logo is on my sidebar, so feel free to download & use in your own post.  A special thank you to Sara & Heather for setting this up, I love the idea behind it & am so lucky to be a part of it!
Of course, the HAPPIEST Mother's Day to all you sweet mamas, I wish you the sweetest weekend that you obviously deserve!
XOXO
 
 
From Here to EternityWords About Waverly


my delicious adventure Photobucket

My Delicious Adventure                  The Life Of Faith
Running From The LawThe Olive Tree

Running From The Law             The Olive Tree          

32 comments:

  1. I don't have babies so I can't really relate to this post BUT that last picture is to die for! Little Waverly is really starting to look like your twin more and more!

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  2. Caleb is not quite to the tantrum stage yet, but he has definitely learned the fake cry already, and works it. When you do figure out a positive discipline method that works well for Waverly, be sure to share it, as I am terrified of the discipline days. I know they are coming and I am just not ready!

    Have so much fun this weekend with your family, sweet girl! Congrats to your sister!!!:)

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  3. Thanks for sharing! I am going through disciplining, patience testing and tempers too, with my daughter who is 23 months. You are such a CARING mama and that is all Waverly needs! :) As for a place for time-outs, perhaps try sitting in the kitchen right in front of the microwave? You can set the timer on the microwave so she can hear & see it running and know the time is up when it beeps. That way too, she knows it isn't an arbitrary time-out but consistent (1 min per age so 1 min for now, 2 min when she is 2). That's what my sister-in-law did with her kiddos and it seems to help my little one.

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    1. You are so sweet & helpful, thank you! She actually has an interest in the microwave (random!) so this may work for us! And thanks for the fruit snack tip too, haha!

      Happy Mother's Day to you, Hilary! XO

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  4. Oh, and fruit snacks do wonders haha when I am too exasperated I just whip those out.

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  5. Thanks for stopping by my blog yesterday! It is always nice to meet a new blogger, especially a blogger mom! :) My sons is 2 1/2 and we have mostly good days and a few days here and there that also make me want to join in the tantrums. We do time out, mostly as a time to get him to calm down and start listening. We use the bottom step or a rug to sit on. And usually he's pretty good at staying put. One minute for each year and the time starts over if you leave the space. It has been working. And getting on their level is great. Sometimes they just need a little redirection! Again, nice to "meet" you and I hope you have a wonderful weekend with your family and a very Happy Mother's Day! Your daughter is pretty darn cute!! :)

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    1. Thank YOU for stopping by my blog, love finding other mom bloggers too! Thanks for the tips also - I definitely find that Waverly needs some redirection sometimes - mostly for calming down. ;)

      Looking forward to following along with you, HAPPY MOTHERS DAY! xo

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  6. You and I are so much alike! I hate being the bad guy and I really struggle with disciplining too. I also work full-time and I don't want to spend what little time I have with him being the toddler police. I know I need to be more consistent and not such a pushover, but it's hard! :) I'll have to check out that book too.

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  7. I'll have to check out that book for sure.

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  8. Happy mama's day to you, love! Have a great time at your sister's graduation :)

    Have you heard of the time-out/relax bottle? It's something I plan to do when Kiernan's a little older or when she understands things just a little bit better. Basically you take a water bottle, fill it with water, glue, and glitter, and then superglue the top on. When shaken up, the bottle is full of swirly glitter and it takes 5 minutes or so to settle back down, so the kiddo takes the shaken bottle and watches it until it's completely settled. Then the time out is over. (I think usually the point is that they get so wrapped up in how cool the glitter looks they automatically calm down or forget why they were so worked up.) Here's a link explaining: http://mycrazyblessedlife.com/2011/10/03/relax-bottletime-out-timer/

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  9. I feel you girl. I'm the same way that discipline isn't my strong suit at all and I too wish I could leave it to my hubs because he's so good at it lol.. But like you I want my girl to be polite and know the difference between right and wrong. :) btw Waverly is such a beauty. Happy Mothers day :)

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  10. It is so hard being consistent and being firm. Disciplining is tricky, but it sounds like you are doing a great job with Waverly. Have a happy weekend with family and a very Happy Mother's Day!

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  11. Love that picture of the two of you! We are beyond "tantrums" at this house, but are in the full blown defiant/sassy stage haha

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  12. I hate having to discipline. It's tough! My husband is better about it than I am, but that's the last thing he wants to do after getting home and not seeing his daughter all day. I know I have to step up my game too! We started doing time outs in a corner by my desk and it seemed to work, so now we do say, "do you need a time-out?" Ugh, being the bad guy stinks!

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  13. My husband is convinced that I am going to be the disciplinary - I have a feeling he is very wrong :)

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  14. Definitely consistency is key! I think if they know you're not serious when you threaten to take something away, etc, then they'll just keep up the behavior. At least that's how it is with my almost 3.5 year old. We do timeout in the most random place, right next to the fridge. The first time it was tough, I kept having to put him back, not saying a word, eventually he got the picture and stayed there. Once he stayed for the 30 seconds, time out was done. I can't really expect him to stay for a minute for each year, that's just crazy, usually he gets the point he's done something wrong after 30 seconds. Here's a picture of where his timeout spot is. Totally random place next to the fridge and baby gate. But his first time out, it was a quick decision and it just stuck. http://foxysdomesticside.blogspot.com/2013/01/disapline-is-hard-when-theyre-this-cute.html
    Have fun at your sisters graduation and Happy Mother's Day!

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  15. Oh my gosh, you really are the sweetest mom ever! I love your relationship with Waverly!
    I NEED to get that book asap!

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  16. i love your honesty! discipline is not fun and is challenging, but atlas part of the job description... newest follower here :)

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  17. You guys have the SAME smile in that one picture! So cute!

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  18. We have just broken into the realm of tantrums. Rae's molars and I teeth are coming in all at once though, so I'm hoping one they all finally come through our sweet little babe will be back :) but we totally know the throwing yourself on the ground arched back move, too!

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  19. I'm so mad I forgot that this link up started today. I have so much to say about this... especially recently. Oy. Apparently Mason has been pushing the little boy at daycare recently. Not so much actual pushing, but like when he stands up in the pack n play, Mason pushes his hands off so he falls. Where did my sweet boy go?? He's gotten a few time outs (just this week!) but I have NO idea how she gets him to stay in one place for it. I was thinking just last night (as Mason wrecked havoc on something, I can't even remember) how I could put him in a time out. Please let me know how that book is!!

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  20. Great advice! I can totally relate. Being consistent too me a while to learn, but with my boys I have seen a big difference. They used to do things over and over again because I would just throw open ended threats at them. But now I do my best to stick to disciplining them! Hopefully I can be this way when my daughter starts to throw some fits!

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  21. I am the opposite. Discipline is my middle name and have no problem telling Ellie "no"! I know it's going to get harder as she ages but I'm interested in reading that book! Thanks so much for sharing!!

    atparsons.blogspot.com

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  22. Great post! I'm finding it very difficult to know what to do with my daughter when she throws her tantrums. She is only 15.5 months old and is already having some major meltdowns. I'm at a loss as to how to discipline her and not laugh that she looks so ridiculous kicking around on the floor!

    alycia @ crazily normal: mitchalycia.blogspot.ca

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  23. Enjoy your family time! Love both of your outfits here! So cute!

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  24. Very interested in this series! I can see tantrums on the horizon! Waverly Maye is too precious! And lol to the timeout chair with straps! I have no idea how my wild one would do with that concept!

    xx Viv at JoieDeViv

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    1. Haha, I really would like to find a chair like that! :) Thanks for stopping by, hope you had a great mother's day! XO

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  25. I am so glad you shared this post! My 9 1/2 month old doesn't have tantrums yet (technically). Well, she does arch her back and kicks a lot, but only when she's on the changing table. She really dislikes to be changed, for some reason. Whenever this happens, all I can think is that she is totally going to run me when she's a little older. I'm going to be a total wimp. I must admit that it gives me a little bit of anxiety. I, too, would not like to be the "bad guy". On a brighter note, she does seem to understand the meaning of the word "NO" in almost every other circumstance; I don't yell, but I say it in a firmer tone. Thanks for the post. It's comforting to know that so many of us worry about the same things. Have a wonderful Mother's Day!!

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    1. Thanks for relating! Waverly hates being changed too, still ... most of the time I resort to the cell phone to distract her. Works wonders!!!! :) Hope you had the best Mother's Day weekend! XO

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  26. Aww! I feel like I have yet to experience a major tantrum with Scarlett but I'm sure I am going to be at a loss when I do!

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  27. I am so sad I couldn't link up for this, but vacation called! ;) I must admit that disciplining Charli is no problem at all for me. I am very stubborn myself and with being a stay at home mom, I am honestly the ONLY one who can discipline her when need be. I have been doing "time-out" when needed since about 14 months. Around that time it was maybe once every month, but I still use the same corner. I place her standing up, nose to wall, and stand right behind her with my leg right up on her so she can't move and I count to 10 out loud (this seems to REALLY help). Almost always as soon as I get to 10 and walk away she will still stand there and then slowly turn to move and walk up and give me a hug. Maybe try that?

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  28. Toddlers don't throw tantrums do they? ;) haha!

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