Being Brickner : The Sitter Situation

Monday, October 21, 2013

The Sitter Situation

Today marks the seventh Monday that I have left Waverly Maye for work this school year.  I am happy to report that our family of three is in a really good routine.  For the most part, our weeks run smoothly & most days, I (almost) feel like I have this "working mom" thing figured out.  Yet if I'm honest, getting here hasn't been easy.  It turns out that this girl, while usually cheerful & happy as can be, is not as adaptable to a new social situation as I originally assumed she would be.
 

Last year, when Waverly Maye was an infant, she stayed with family/family friends everyday of the week.  She rotated between my mom, sister-in-law, grandparents & a close friend who came to the house.  The majority of the time, there were really no issues & Waverly seemed mostly unaffected by the situation. 
 
From the very start, our plan for this year was to get Waverly in more of a constant environment (rather than four different places each week) & around other kids.  So over the summer, I met with a friend of my husband's family who runs a daycare from her home.  She watches a couple of kids who were around Waverly's age & her house was close to ours, so I assumed the situation would be perfect.  Waverly has always been such a happy baby & although her crazy, outgoing personality keeps us on our toes, that same personality was what I thought had kept us from ever having to deal with seperation anxiety.  Waverly LOVES people & has never been shy, especially around other kids.
 
 
My mom intuition was totally wrong in this case.  Long story short, my non-crying baby cried  through most of the first week at her new sitter's house.  It was emotionally painful & exhausting for all three of us.  Yet even though I really wanted to immediately quit my job & hold her close all day long, all the books & advice we got convinced us that it would get better each day.
(that she would be all smiles again ... )
 
 
It didn't, instead it got worse.  It got to the point that Waverly would cry when my husband pulled up to the driveway each morning, & when I pulled up the house in the afternoon, she was crying so loud I could hear her from my car.  Totally gut-wrenching.  The only thing harder than leaving your child each day is doing it & thinking about her feeling like that without me.  For whatever reason, Waverly Maye could not adapt to that situation & at the end of the day, I had to do what I felt in my mommy heart was best for Waverly.  We looked into our options & have since changed back to family each day, two of the days with Waverly at our house with a close friend.  She is SO much happier, which to me, was first & foremost.
 
 I am so appreciative of Waverly's first official sitter for taking good care of our girl for that short time.  I really wanted it to work, yet at this point, at still only one-year old, I just didn't think it had to be time just yet.  I do know that one day, I am not going to be able to "opt out" of kindergarden because Waverly cries & misses us (although I'm not promising I won't want to ... if that happens, I will obviously be crying to).  In the meantime, something tells me we will have to face these seperation issues one day , so thoughts or suggestions are definitely welcome! :)
I just LOVE this girl to pieces & want to do what is best for her & her future.
 
 
 Happy Monday, we hope everyone had a wonderful weekend!  Looking forward to Trendy Tot Tuesday tomorrow, we may a fun little holiday look to share. :)
XOXO


13 comments:

  1. I feel your pain! My oldest went to an inhome daycare from 4months until a year old when I started staying home and she did great. But my youngest has always been home with me. This past spring I wanted to try her at an inhome to get her used to the idea, since I plan to go back to work next fall...and even though she was there with my oldest daughter she still cried and cried. The third try she just cried the entire time I guess and refused to let the sitter change her diaper or anything (she had just turned 2 years). So anyway, we basically got kicked out b/c Brielle wouldn't adapt! Ugh.

    Anyways, now my plan is that she will just start daycare when I go back to work..she'll be 3.5 years at that time and I figure at that age hopefully she'll be old enough to bribe (or threaten lol). Fingers crossed!

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  2. I am sooo sorry!!! I have yet to leave Grace with a sitter besides family and I think I will act just like Waverly!

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  3. Oh girl, I am so sorry! I would have done exactly what you did. We have to do what our Momma heart tell us to do. Way to go! :) Glad Miss W is back to her normal, happy self with family members watching her!

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  4. She is so, so precious! Went through a similar situation with my son when he was little...so I can definitely relate.

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  5. I put my daughter in a in home daycare at 7 months old. She lasted there for about 4 months. Something about it she just didnt like. It may be the house, or someone there, or if they have pets, it can be so many different factors. My daughter is now 16 months and she is at a real daycare full time and absolutely loves it. She hates leaving and best part is she has learned SO much. More so then she would at the at home daycare. I really think that daycare is a trial and error. You have to try out a bunch before you find the right one. And eventually she will get used to it. It took my daughter about 2 weeks to adapt to a real daycare.

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  6. WOW. What a poor sad girl :( I wonder what about the environment she disliked so much! Such a bummer it didn't work out - but so glad you changed things to make life easier on her...and thanks for sharing this!

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  7. Sweet baby girl. That is a hard situation. I'm glad you trusted your mama gut and that things are going much better now!

    PS. Love her sweet little polka dot dress! Adorable!

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  8. I think you did the right thing. If you have family to watch her, take advantage of that. She'll be ready when she is older to be away from familiar people and interact more with kids. I know how you feel, Mama!

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  9. I would've done the same thing mama! So glad she is back to her smiling self :)

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  10. I've only just started reading mommy blogs and never comment, but HAD to say how awesome this is. It's so hard to do anything child-led because the whole world insists adults be in full control all the time no matter how miserable it makes our babes. If it eases your mind, I went ape bonkers and refused to go to preschool, and then the very next year was stoked for kindergarden and never came close to shedding a tear. Good call mama.

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  11. Every kid is different and it seems you are doing the right thing for Waverly and yourself. You have to trust your instincts and it will get easier. I wish I had feedback to share, but unfortunately my little guy has been in daycare since I finished maternity leave. Keep your head up, mama

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  12. I would agree, trusting your instincts is the only way to go. Whether they are maternal instincts for the happiness of your baby, or whether its just that little voice that says to change something that isn't working, trust it. Our little baby's are so young still, there's plenty of time for them to learn to socialise with other kids. You are a good mama (did you read that Cup of Jo post yesterday?). xx

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  13. So glad you've found something that is working better for sweet Waverly and for you!!

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